internalized disphobia

"Having a fear about being around other people with disabilities when you yourself have a disability....or... Not having pride in who you are as a person with a disability...An irrational fear that you are disabled, and well, you are."

Forrest had a hard time the other day at his Day program for adults with unique needs- Artists and urban farmers. He went out on a field trip with the others in his group, most of whom have intellectual impairments and a wide range of silly and fun. He didn't want to be seen with that group. He was embarrassed I guess. He refused to sit in the same coffee shop apparently, and then later hid in the back of the bus under a seat and for awhile they thought he was lost or ran away. He was calling me on his cell, sobbing, "Mom can you pick me up? I'm having a bad day."

Ahhh, Forrest wants to be normal. "I want to be with people on the same level" he tells me. He believes the staff at Project Grow are on "his same level" he wants to hang out with them. He wore a button pinned to his shirt that day that read "I am who I am".

I later reminded him of that button. He's better today and off to his day program with a smile.